when I cheat on my pirate bf

fkcngg09-0123wtffffck235123shtit:

me: I’m sorry babe I love u
bf: walk the plank

iwantabrickbybrick:

my worst fear is looking bad in a photo with a celebrity

whetaver:

gf: come over

me: cant im a dinosaur and i died 65 million yrs ago

gf: im off my period

me: image

puberty has done you well, tyreesha

datjukebird:

condensation