nippled:

2009 me was very wary of akon

nippled:

2009 me was very wary of akon

 

rising-demon-dicks:

darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"

*FLASHING DISCO LIGHTS*

graystripe:

once in the 4th grade this guy got a 2% on his math quiz so everyone called him milk for the rest of the year 

svrferblood:

me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?

dogapult:

how come when someone decides to eat only fruits and vegetables people commend them for their “willpower” and “diligence” but when i decide to eat a diet composed entirely of mozzarella sticks and vodka suddenly i’m “out of control” and “putting myself in danger”